25 thoughts on “Evil Clown Escapes Rape Dungeon!!! – Weekly Weird News

  1. Joe PittyFool

    I imagine all the collective residents of Wichita had a collective sigh of
    relief that Louie the clown was in fact, not a sentient being that freed it
    self in an attempt to murder children. However, I think we all know exactly
    what that sex-offender did with that clown’s hands…

  2. Brady Keller

    Holy shit I’m from Wichita. Nothing to report on around here unless a
    homeless man dies or the local meth shacks blows up. Not surprised to the
    The clown make the news

  3. Lone Wolf1773

    I live in Wichita, when I saw the news reports, me and my friends decided
    to put up posters, make meetings, and pretend he was a god. We made a
    little cult out of it. It was awesome.

  4. Juan Way

    There was yet another ’50 Shades of Grey’ crime, and it was at my school.
    Some dude tried to recreate some BDSM scene from the movie in his dormroom
    with his girlfriend. She later tried to back out after the use of a belt (I
    wonder why? ), but he kept at it until his roommate arrived at the scene.
    He’s now in jail for sexual assault with a $500,000 bond. Search ‘uic’ in
    Google news, you’ll find it. 

  5. Tom Cameron

    I love the image that Americans get of Glasgow, I think I’m just going to
    go along with it.
    Ahem, dont u tok aboot glesgaw lik that or ill fukin “Glass” ye.
    Disclaimer: I’ve never actually heard the term “Glassing” despite living
    here for 16+ years.

  6. Walter White

    What if the clown was the one who kidnapped the guy, and he did countless
    prolific things to him for years, now the clown is free, able to do
    whatever the fuck he wants

  7. Lord Funface The Atomic Toaster

    I got caught cranking one out behind a church by a priest. I looked him
    straight in the eye and said “You like this don’t you, holy man? You
    fucking like this.” I looked him straight in the eye and kept burping my
    serpent. His horror only added to my arousal. It was glorious. 

  8. Boyd Bissell Jr.

    I went to Catholic school, and the girls had to wear plaid skirts or these
    khakis that outlined their butts soooo well. Well, as a young, horny 14
    year old boy trapped in the back of the most boring of classes in all of
    high school, I decided to tame my beast in the middle of class, as it had
    gone rouge and I couldn’t stomach another case of blue balls. I proceeded
    to stroke it overhand as it competed for girth with my thigh. Right before
    I could finish, I looked to my left and saw a fellow classmate with the
    most bewildered look of disbelief. As I caught him, he looked away in
    shame, and like any proud man caught in a compromising situation, I
    finished what I had started. As class ended, I noticed the amount of myself
    I had released had turned the inside of my pants into a damp petrie dish,
    with my crotch area bolstering a soggy discoloration for all the world to
    see, but I moved with the stealth of a perverted ninja and no one was the
    wiser. The event only came up once, as I was on my way to the bathroom
    after lunch, the gent who had caught me in the act was standing with his
    friends, and one of his cohorts asked “What you gonna do in there?” He was
    immediately shushed by the snitch. For whatever reason, the incident was
    not something I was ever teased about, I’m assuming due to my relative
    popularity compared to them. The end.

  9. TheKoolGirl

    In my school, You dont choose your elective. And i got put in the one all
    the hot, short skirted, skin showing uniformed cheerleaders got put in. Me
    being my 15 year old lesbian self asked to use the bathroom everday. wanna
    know why? I had to get a new pair of shorts because I came so much. Now
    lets wait for the hates and “You liar” comments to flow here like cum
    flowing down a body.

  10. Sabreena Raue

    I hate clowns…You can thank my brothers, James and Travis. They used to
    tell me that Ronald McDonald ate little girls and other shit as a kid.

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